Where I Wanna Be

Girl the love that we share is real, but in time your heart will heal. I’m not saying I’m gone, but I have to find what life is like without you. But when you love someone, you just don’t treat them bad. Oh how I feel so sad now that I wanna leave. She’s crying out hard to me, ‘how could you let this be?’ I just need time to see where I wanna be.
-Donell Jones

I look back at Stuttering and can’t believe the amount of lust behind that post – which most certainly explains why that “situation” was nothing more than a fling. To be made speechless by someone of lust, and someone of love are two completely different things.

We met again, and this time there wasn’t a question in my mind about if he was as excited to see me again as I was to see him; I knew he was. Of course me being the “super cool” individual that I am, I greeted everyone in the room – making a point to get to him last. He must’ve taken on my anxiety, because there was that goofy, beaming grin once again. We continued to celebrate two mutual friends’ birthday on into the night. After a plenty of rounds and being the fat kids that we are, we decided to make a food run. On the ride there, he decided to share a song with me. It was “Where I Wanna Be” by Donell Jones…

For the remainder of the weekend, we continued to celebrate and enjoy everyone’s company. It was simply great times with great people. While making my way back to Statesboro that Sunday, “Where I Wanna Be” came on the radio. I figured ‘hey, why not shoot him a text?’ I had no idea that that conversation would be a fresh beginning to a spoiled ending. His feelings within the song weren’t just drunken ramblings from Friday night; he said that was his song to me, and that that was how he really felt. At that moment, I was truly speechless. Every atom – yes atom – within my mind, body and soul was glowing. The old happiness that I knew last year had returned. They say when you find the one, you’ll stop wondering about why it didn’t work out with anyone else. I asked him he could see another “us” in the future. I won’t share his response; but at that very moment when he answered, I stopped wondering..


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