All is Fair in Love and War: Cheating – Part 1

Cheating is by far one of the most controversial topics when it comes to relationships. The society we presently live in is drastically different than the society our elders lived in years, even centuries, ago. I believe cheating is something that was created by past generations as a consequence of more advanced technology, and was only intensified by our generation’s craze with social networking, favoring conversations via text over in person, etc. The only way to stop the madness is to break the habit of living in denial of the issue, stop becoming involved in relationships without intentions of becoming committed later, and stop accepting the hurt you receive as the victim. The following questions were composed by me; the answers below are a mix of answers from interviewees that used to cheat, my interpretation of those answers, and my personal thoughts.

  1. What’s your definition of cheating?
    Cheating is any physical/emotional attention/interaction that would be frowned upon by your significant other or would hurt them. Countless men, as well as women, have the impression/belief that as long as you’re not cheating sexually, it’s not considered cheating. They might not admit to it, but I guarantee those same individuals would not approve of their significant other joining someone else of the opposite sex for dinner and a movie. So the next time you go to flirt with that appealing young lady or text your ex-boyfriend for “entertainment purposes only,” remember there is such thing as emotional cheating.
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  2. Why did you cheat?
    There are so many reasons why people engage in the unfaithful acts of cheating; I find that they fall into two categories. In Category 1, you have those that are fearful of commitment. They’re often young and dumb, get into relationships knowing they don’t plan on committing in the future, and have their focus centralized elsewhere. Then in Category 2, you have those that wanted commitment, but received pain instead. Those individuals are lovers at heart, still believe in “old love,” and are awaiting the day that they find their soul mate. All it took was that one significant other to cheat for them to be scarred severely. From that, they’ve become insecure – afraid of being vulnerable again – which then causes cheating to become their safety net.
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  3.  When you cheat, do you ever think of the future? Or only in that specific moment?
    Generally, they only think in that moment – trying to relieve their pain, or protect themselves from the pain to come according to their intuitions. Sexually, receiving the pleasure consumes their entire thought process. Overall, they’re simply being selfish.
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  4. What made you change your ways and stop cheating?
    Of course there’s always exceptions, but most of us want to find true love – which becomes their motivation to stop cheating. They realize that their cheating is a problem – whether it be through their own epiphanies or seeing family members’ marriages disintegrate - and vow to make a change within themselves. Essentially, continuing to entertain and provide for the habit by being unfaithful in every relationship are just the right steps toward creating a monster. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I’m confident in saying that every monster found in a motion picture is angry and single – let that marinate until All is Fair in Love and War: Cheating - Part 2..

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